Joke Topic - 'Doctor'

A man walks into the doctors, he says 'doctor doctor, I think I'm a moth.' The doctor replies, 'Well I think you need a physciatrist not a doctor, why did you come to me?'
'Well' then man replies, 'I was walking past your surgery and your light was on.'

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bottle of gin.
I think you need a little tonic.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bee.
Doctor: Sorry, I'm too busy to see you right now. Can you give me a buzz later?

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm shrinking.
Doctor: Well, you'll just have to be a little patient.

Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire.
Drink this glass of water.
Will it make me better?
No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

How do you get your revenge on a doctor?
Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I have a hoarse throat.
Doctor: Believe me, the resemblance doesn't end there.

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a comedian.
Doctor: You must be joking.

Patient: Doctor, I've just swallowed a spoon.
Doctor: Well, sit down and don't stir yourself.

Patient: I want you to tell me the truth, doctor. Am I going to get better?
Doctor: Why, of course you are. You're going to get better even if it costs every penny you have.