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Joke Topic - 'Dieting' - Page 2 - With 2 More Jokes and Funny Stories
This is page 2 of jokes on the topic - 'Dieting'.
Why did the lizard decide to go on a diet?
Because it weighed too much for its scales.
Because it weighed too much for its scales.
You know you're overweight and need to diet when your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Polar Bears
What do you call a polar bear who has lost all his teeth?
A gummy bear.
A gummy bear.
Wills
What do you call an extremely wealthy old man who has changed his will six times in the last year?
A fresh heir fiend!
A fresh heir fiend!
Married Men
A married man should always forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same things.
There's no use in two people remembering the same things.
Lions
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel roar if you stand on it's tail.
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel roar if you stand on it's tail.
Clocks
I heard something this morning that really made me open my eyes.
What was it?
My alarm clock.
What was it?
My alarm clock.
Elephants
Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled?
They'd be aspirins if they were small, white and smooth.
They'd be aspirins if they were small, white and smooth.
Change
Boy: Can you change twenty pence for me?
Father: Yeah, that's no problem.
Boy: Good. Change it to fifty pence, please.
Father: Yeah, that's no problem.
Boy: Good. Change it to fifty pence, please.
Dogs
What breed of dog would you want on your American football team?
A golden receiver.
A golden receiver.
Chefs
Diner: Waiter, why do you call this Enthusiasm stew?
Waiter: Because the chef has put everything she's got into it.
Waiter: Because the chef has put everything she's got into it.