Joke Topic - 'Did You Hear'

Why did the cucumber hire a lawyer?
Because it was in a pickle.

What kind of bees live in a graveyard?
Zombees.

How do you get five donkeys on a fire engine?
Two in the front, two in the back, and one on the roof going EE-AW-EE-AW.

Let him who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Nan: How do you like your new studio apartment?
Dan: I have no room for complaint.

What did the dog say when he sat on a piece of sandpaper?
Ruff.

Diner: Do you have any wild duck?
Waiter: No, sir, but we could take a contented one and irritate it for you.

What is the difference between a gardener and a snooker player?
One minds his peas, and the other minds his cues.

Which type of pet is the noisiest?
A trumpet!