Joke Topic - 'Decisions'

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?

What is the longest sentence known to man?
'I do.'

When I was young I had a lot of spots and pimples. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.

Patient: Doctor, my stomach hurts!
Doctor: Oh stop bellyaching!

Which famous English detective loved to relax in a bubble bath?
Sherlock Foams.

Why was the clock salesman bored?
He had too much time on his hands.

What do you get if you cross a successful book with perfume.
A best smeller.

If music be the food of love, I need re-tuning