Father Christmas
Why is a lion in the desert like Father Christmas?
Because it has sandy claws.
Quasimodo
Quasimodo - that name rings a bell.
Bus Drivers
How many BUS DRIVERS does it take to change a light bulb?
You've got to be joking - they won't even change a five-pound note.
Baseball
What is the difference between baseball and law?
In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.
Lightbulbs
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but you must nag him for a fortnight first.
Lightbulbs
How many IBM engineers are required to change a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing promote that 'Dead Bulb' as a feature.
Dogs
Please help me find my lost dog. Here is his description:
One eye
Three legs
Ears chewed off
Broken tail
Answers to the name 'Lucky'
Shopping
What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
Airlines
What airline do ghosts travel on?
British Scareways.