Joke Topic - 'Days'

I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

Nothing succeeds like a budgie with no teeth.

How did the farmer locate his lost cow?
He tractor down.

What's that up the road? A head?

Did you hear about the bad tempered civil engineer?
He always built crossroads.

Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Millicent.
Millicent who?
Millicent me over to borrow some money from you.

When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.

My friend says that you can speak in cat language. Is it true?
Me - how?