The other day my dad leapt eight feet in the air. I said,
'Dad, I didn't know you were a high-jumper.'
He said, 'I'm not. Your mum dropped the iron on my foot.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Dumb
Your mumma is so dumb she took a ruler 2 bed 2 c how long she slept!
Schizophrenia
You're never alone with schizophrenia
Baby
What do baby outlaws like eating with their milk?
Crookies.
Piano
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
Scottish
What is the name of a Scottish cloak room attendant?
Willie Angus McCoatup.
Lawyers
What an amazing lawyer he was. Once he got a jury so confused, they sent the judge to jail.
Cows
What do you call a cow that just had a calf?
Decalfinated!
Dogs
What do you get if you cross a small bear with a dog?
Winnie the Poodle.
Dogs
What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A dog that chases cars - and catches them.