Joke Topic - 'Crowned'

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys TWO cases of beer.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

What does Count Dracula like to do every morning at eleven?
Take a coffin-break.

Veterinarian: Has your dog ever had fleas?
Little Boy: No, just puppies!

Did you hear about the idiot who thought Hamlet was an omlette served with bacon?

Yo momma so fat she can sit on a dollar and make change.

Why did the cow leave home?
It wanted to look for greener pastures.

Is your name Dan Druff?
You always get into people's hair.

The manager started his speech at 10 a.m. sharp and ended at 11 a.m. dull.