Medicine
How do you get your revenge on a doctor?
Give him a taste of his own medicine.
Girlfriends
Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!
Woodworm
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a woodworm.
Doctor: How boring.
Alcohol
Do you have an alcohol problem?
- yes, I can't afford it
Married
'Are you married?'
'No, I've always been round-shouldered.'
Cows
Why do cows have bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
Rich
How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?
She says, 'Daddy, I want a new apartment.'
Work
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Cereal
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cereal.
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you.