A farmer was busy milking one of his cows. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a small bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his milk pail. It went in one ear and out the udder.
A group of young children were sat in a circle with their nursery teacher. She was asking them questions in turn.
Davy, what noise does a cow make?
A cow goes moo.
Alice, what noise does a cat make?
A cat goes meow.
Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?
A lamb goes baaa.
Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?
Errr.., it goes.. click!
A herd of highland cows are standing in a field in Scotland.
Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
Did you hear about the rich Arab who bought a herd of cows?
He became a milk sheikh.
Did you hear what happened when the cows refused to be milked?
There was udder chaos.
How did the farmer locate his lost cow?
He tractor down.
How does a cow solve math problems?
With a cowculator.
If your cow sounds like this, bake it and eat it "moo,moo". If your cow sounds like this I would take the fish "Moo ahhh,moo moo ahhh".
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tilly.
Tilly who?
Tilly cows come home.
My uncle said, 'I saw this film about these cows who took over a ship, and they cast the captain adrift in an open boat.'
I said, 'That's amazing. What was the film called?'
My uncle said, 'Moo-tiny on the Bounty.