Dalmatians
Why are Dalmatians no good at playing hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.
Donuts
Why did the donut go to the dentist?
It wanted to get a chocolate filling.
Human
Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
Money
Why is money called dough?
Because we are all in knead of it.
Astronauts
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rock-et.
Husbands
Where can a husband always find sympathy?
In the dictionary.
Blondes
How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
Vampires
What type of restaurants are vampires careful to avoid?
Stakehouses!
Horses
What animal goes to bed with his shoes on?
A horse.