Fishing
Do you like fly fishing?
No, I prefer to catch fish.
Zebras
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.
Lawyers
Where there's a will, there's a happy Lawyer!
Bald
What did the bald man say when he was given a comb as a birthday present?
Thanks, I'll never part with it.
Wives
John: My wife drives me to drink.
Henry: You're lucky. I have to walk.
Frogs
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
Doctors
Patient: Doctor, what is the best thing to do when you hear ringing in your ear?
Doctor: Answer it.
Complaining
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her or something like that.
Christmas
What does a monster write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season.