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Joke Topic - 'Computers' - Page 2 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories


This is page 2 of jokes on the topic - 'Computers'.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
If the auto industry had done what the computer industry has done in the past 30 years, a Rolls Royce would cost $2.50 and would get 2,000,000 miles per gallon.
If, at first, you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
Software Development Cycle

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program, shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice, actually came to you by way of an elaborate path through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
Unix - Reach out and grep someone.
What did one computer say to the other computer?
You've got a nice interface.
What did the blonde think of the new computer?
She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
What do computers like to eat when they are hungry?
Chips.
What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver.
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