Joke Topic - 'Complaining'

I take my wife out every night, but she always manages to find her way home.

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
By having a whale of a party.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the great improvement at once.

Remember: The politicians who promise pie-in-the-sky are planning to use your dough for it.

How many civil servants does it take to change a light-bulb?
Ten. One to mess it up and nine to write the cover-up report.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut keep me waiting here!

Why is there only one monopolies commission?

What song do Liverpool fans sing at Christmas?
"Yule never walk alone."

How do you get your revenge on a doctor?
Give him a taste of his own medicine.