Teenage Driver: But, officer, I'm a college graduate.
Traffic Cop: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Elves
Q. What did the elf use to make him taller?
A. He used elf raising flour.
Blisters
Some people are like blisters
- they appear when the work is done
Dentist
What do you get if you cross a dentist with a ship?
The tooth ferry.
Trees
What is white, light and sugary and swings from trees?
A meringue-utan.
Doctors
My mum said, 'Doctor, give me something for my kidneys.'
The doctor said, 'How about a few rashers of bacon?'
Waiters
Diner: Waiter! This soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Then why aren't you laughing?
Personality
You have a striking personality. How long has it been on strike?
Horses
When does a horse usually neigh?
Whinny wants to!
Scottish
What is the definition of a true Scottish gentleman?
A Scotsman who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.