Joke Topic - 'Christmas' - 60 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At

As Christmas approached, two little boys went to stay with their grandparents for the night. As they knelt near their beds for nightly prayers, the youngest boy started to pray loudly.
'I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW PLAYSTATION...
I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD PLAYER...'
His older brother leaned down and prodded his younger brother, asking, "Why are you shouting your prayers?" "God is not deaf." The younger brother answered, 'No, but Grandma is!'

Before Christmas dinner, a 4-year-old boy was invited to bless the meal. Expectantly, the family members lowered their heads. He commenced his prayer, expressing gratitude to God for every one of his friends by name. He praised God for giving him a mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, and uncles. After that, he thanked God for the food. He thanked them for the turkey, the stuffing, the cranberry sauce, the mince pies, the Christmas cake, and even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone anxiously awaited - and the anticipation grew. The young fellow broke the silence and glanced at his mother, questioning, "If I express gratitude for the broccoli, will God be aware of my insincerity?"

Christmas is a holiday on which neither the past nor the future is as important as the present.

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father-and-son chats. Light sabers are drawn, and sparks are flying. 'I know what you're receiving for Christmas, Luke,' snarled Vader, pinning him against a bulkhead and glaring in his face. 'Oh, yes! Yes, I am aware. "How do you know!" exclaimed Luke as he battled his way free and leaped to a higher platform beyond Vader's grasp. 'How do you know what I'm getting for Christmas?' shouted Luke at him.
Darth Vader shot Luke an icy glare, 'The force is with me... I felt your presents.'

Every Christmas, I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then, my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.

Father: Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?
Son: No, it was too dark to see him, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toes on the edge of my bed.

How did the man feel after eating a whole Christmas goose?
He felt pretty down.

How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
'I wish you a furry merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.'

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe.

I wouldn't say he is stupid, but he thinks that Christmas Eve is a tug of war-that is held at Christmas.

If you fear Santa Claus coming down your chimney at Christmas, are you suffering from Santaclaustrophobia?

In Britain, what do they call Christmas?
Yule Britannia.