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Joke Topic - 'Christmas'


Here are 61 jokes on the topic - 'Christmas'.

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A 4-year-old boy was asked to give the meal blessing before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone waited-- and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"
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Christmas - A holiday in which neither the past nor the future is of as much interest as the present.
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Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father and son chats... lightsabres drawn and sparks flying. Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, "I know what you're getting for Christmas, Luke," he said, "Ohhh, yes! I know!" Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platform just out of Vader's reach, "How do you know!?" Luke yelled at him, "How do you know what I'm getting for Christmas!?"
Darth Vader shot Luke an icy glare, "The force is with me... I felt your presents."
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Every Christmas I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.
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Father: Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?
Son: No it was too dark to see him, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toes on the edge of my bed.
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How did the man feel after eating a whole Christmas goose?
He felt pretty down.
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How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe.
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How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"I wish you a furry merry Christmas and a Happy mew year".
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I don't care who you are, get these reindeer off my roof.
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I wouldn't say he is stupid, but he thinks that Christmas Eve is a tug of war that is held at Christmas.

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