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Joke Topic - 'Christmas' - 2


This is page 2 of jokes on the topic - 'Christmas'.

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If you have a fear of Santa Claus coming down your chimney at Christmas, are you suffering from Santaclaustrophobia?
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In Britain, what do they call Christmas?
Yule Britannia.
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Joe bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this rather extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted a Mercedes sports car."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake one of those?"
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Joe: Did you get many Christmas presents?
Jack: I sure did. A lot more than my four brothers.
Joe: Why was that?
Jack: On Christmas morning I got up two hours before them.
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Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Raptor.
Raptor who?
Raptor presents before Christmas.
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rapture.
Rapture who?
Rapture Christmas presents yet?
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Mum, can I please have a dog for Christmas?
No, you will have turkey like everyone else!
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Never mind the star - get those camels off my lawn!
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Politics is the art of making it sound as if Father Christmas comes earlier in the year.

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