Pigs
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig.
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ben Hur who?
Ben Hur for over an hour - let me in!
Missing
How do you find a missing railway train?
Follow its tracks.
Doctors
Patient: Doctor, I've just swallowed a spoon.
Doctor: Sit down and don't stir yourself.
Dogs
Which type of dog always knows what time it is?
A watchdog!
Cannibals
What did the cannibal say when he was full up?
I couldn't eat another mortal.
Mothers
Bill: Does this hot weather disagree with your mother?
Fred: It wouldn't dare!
Snowballs
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juicy.
Juicy who?
Juicy who threw the snowball at me?
Parties
How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
By having a whale of a party.