Overheard to a chauffeur: 'James, I'm now
ninety and rather bored with life, so I want to commit suicide. Kindly drive over the next cliff.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Sociologists
How many sociologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one - but the bulb has got to want to change first.
Hoarse
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I have a hoarse throat.
Doctor: Believe me, the resemblance doesn't end there.
Light Bulbs
How many Labour Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They haven't got a policy on that.
Christmas
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe.
Started Out
I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left.
Haste
What is the best thing to make if you are in a hurry?
Haste.
Rich
How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
Aspirins
Last night I was going to kill myself by swallowing a handful of asprins - but after taking the first two I felt much better.
Dogs
Why was the dog arrested?
He forgot to pay his barking ticket.