Cemetery
'Hi Bob, Where have you been?'
'The cemetery.'
'Oh! Who's dead?'
'They all are.'
Paint
I'd give my right ear to paint like Van Gogh
Doctors
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a frog
Go on, hop it!
Rabbits
What did the rabbits say when they were caught in the vegetable patch?
Lettuce alone!
Beer
Yesterday, Sandy McNab was run over by a beer delivery truck. It was the first time in years that the drinks had been on him.
Vampires
What did the vampire say when he called the blood bank?
Do you do home deliveries?
Lucky
Tell me again how lucky I am to work here. I keep forgetting.
Politicians
Politicians deal with the public on the basis of the mushroom policy: Keep them in the dark and feed them manure.
Lawyers
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bull?
The lawyer charges more.