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Joke Topic - 'Cats' - 55 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 55 jokes on the topic - 'Cats'.
A man hated his wife's cat so much that he decided to get rid of it by driving it two miles from home and leaving it there. But when he returned home, he saw the cat sitting at his front door.
So, the next day he drove the cat five miles away and left it there, but when he arrived back home, the cat was once again waiting for him at his front door.
By now, he was desperate to get rid of the cat, so this time, he drove the cat fifty miles out into the country and left it in the middle of a dense forest.
Five hours later, his wife answered the phone at home. It was her husband.
'Honey,' he asked, 'is the cat there?'
'Yes,' said the wife. 'Why?'
'Can put him on the line, please? I'm lost, and I need directions to get me home.'
4>So, the next day he drove the cat five miles away and left it there, but when he arrived back home, the cat was once again waiting for him at his front door.
By now, he was desperate to get rid of the cat, so this time, he drove the cat fifty miles out into the country and left it in the middle of a dense forest.
Five hours later, his wife answered the phone at home. It was her husband.
'Honey,' he asked, 'is the cat there?'
'Yes,' said the wife. 'Why?'
'Can put him on the line, please? I'm lost, and I need directions to get me home.'
And now, spell mousetrap in three letters.
C, A, T.
1>C, A, T.
Cats flattened while you watch.
1>Customer: I'm returning this tin of cat food.
Store Assistant: What's the problem with it?
Customer: It says it comes in an 'easy open can.'
Store Assistant: So?
Customer: My cat has tried for three days and still can't get it open!
3>Store Assistant: What's the problem with it?
Customer: It says it comes in an 'easy open can.'
Store Assistant: So?
Customer: My cat has tried for three days and still can't get it open!
Did you hear about the cat that fell in the yogurt?
He's a sour puss now.
1>He's a sour puss now.
Did you hear about the cat who drank three bowls of milk?
He set a new lap record.
1>He set a new lap record.
Did you hear about the Scottish father who had a dilemma? His son wanted a dog, and his daughter wanted a cat. He felt that having a cat and a dog would be too expensive. So he bought a cat and taught it to bark!
3>Did you hear about the special offer at the pet store this weekend?
Buy one cat - get one flea!
2>Buy one cat - get one flea!
Did you hear about the young cat who went to work for the Red Cross?
She wanted to be a first aid kit.
2>She wanted to be a first aid kit.
Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?
1>Doctor, doctor. I think that I'm turning into a baby cat.
I think you're just kitten me.
2>I think you're just kitten me.
Dogs and small children must be carried on the escalator
- if you don't have a dog, a cat will do
2>- if you don't have a dog, a cat will do