Cargo
Why is it if you send a package by Ship, it is called Cargo, and if you send it by Car, it is called a Shipment?
Sausages
Did you hear that the local food factory will not make sausages any longer?
They're long enough already.
Sheep
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
To the baa-baa shop.
Dentists
When I talk, people listen with their mouths open.
Oh, you must be a dentist.
Blondes
Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband because he was out shooting craps, and she didn't know how to cook them?
Toes
Patient: Doctor, why are you writing on my toes?
Doctor: I'm just adding a footnote.
Death
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Hills
What do you get if you cross big hills with an electric stove?
A mountain range.
Teachers
What's the difference between a teacher and a train engineer?
One minds the train; the other trains the mind.