Two carrots were walking down the road when a huge truck slammed into one of them. An ambulance was called and they rushed the little fellow off to the hospital where he immediately went into hours of surgery. Finally the doctor emerged and approached the other carrot who had been anxiously awaiting in the waiting room.
"Tell me Doc, how is he?"
The doctor replied, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is he's going to live. The bad news is he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Frogs
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
Girlfriends
Last night I told my girlfriend that I would go to the end of the world for her, and she said, "Yes but would you stay there?"
A Comedian
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a comedian.
Doctor: You must be joking.
Reindeer
I don't care who you are, get these reindeer off my roof.
Noisiest
What is the noisiest pet?
A trumpet.
Relatives
Every weekend my relatives come round to our house and we make sweaters - you could say that we're a very close knit family.
Bees
What do bees use to brush their hair?
Honey-combs.
Ducks
What do you call a box of ducklings?
A box of quackers.
Sharpest
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.