Doctors
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm shrinking.
Doctor: Well, you must be a little patient.
Teachers
Why did the teacher need to wear dark glasses?
Because she had such a bright class.
Spaceman
What is a spaceman's favorite game?
Astronauts and crosses.
Divorce
We decided to get married on Friday the 13th. If things don't work out, at least we'll have something to blame the divorce on.
Cats
What does a cat like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
Men
What is the longest sentence known to man?
'I do.'
Father Christmas
Where does Father Christmas stay when he takes a vacation?
In a ho ho hotel.
Dogs
What type of dog wears a uniform and a badge?
A guard dog.
Opticians
Did you hear about the cross-eyed optician?
He could never see eye to eye with his patients.