Scottish
A herd of highland cows is standing in a field in Scotland.
Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
Leave
I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
Ghosts
Where do baby ghosts go when their parents are at work?
Day scare centers.
Teachers
l thought I might become a history teacher when I grew up, but then I realized there was no future in it.
Shopping
I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
Men
Why is it hard to locate sensitive, caring, attractive men?
They all have boyfriends.
Girlfriends
GILLIE: Will I lose my looks as I get older?
WILLIE: With luck, yes.
Life
If you think life's a joke, tell me the punchline
Politicians
It's tough being a politician. Lying destroys half your reputation, and the truth destroys the other half!