Joke Topic - 'Calf'

My uncle keeps a pig under his bed. I said, 'What about the smell?'
My uncle said, 'He doesn't mind that.'

What do you call a fly that has no wings?
A walk.

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

Old professors never die. They just lose their faculties.

They call him toe nails because he is always at the foot of the class.

Pirate radio rules the waves

I am the master in my own house - the doghouse.

Teacher: I wish you’d pay a little attention to what I'm saying!
Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can!

Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.