Pigs
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for their mother's birthday?
They threw a sowprize party.
Dogs
What should you say to a dog before he eats?
Bone appetite!
Mutts
What do you get if you cross a mutt with a poodle?
A muddle.
Lawyers
What's the best way to get a hold of a lawyer?
By the neck.
Stupid
Did you hear about the stupid yachtsman who had his arm cut off so that he could sail around the world single-handed?
Books
Why did the bird fly into the public library?
It was looking for bookworms.
Steaks
Diner: Waiter, your thumb is on my steak. Remove it right now!
Waiter: What, and drop it again?
Elephants
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they would look silly carrying suitcases.
Dogs
What do you get if you cross a small bear with a dog?
Winnie the Poodle.