A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him "there is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us."
The husband said, "who shall I call, the police or an ambulance?"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Blondes
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Lunch
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Harriet.
Harriet who?
Harriet my lunch so now I'm hungry.
Witches
Which witch can you take to lunch?
A sandwich.
The Right Place
He's always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
Blondes
What do UFOs and smart blondes have in common?
You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Multitasking
Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
Window Shopping
George: I went window shopping this morning.
Dave: Did you get anything?
George: Yes. I bought four windows.
Smart
He's as smart as a politician is honest.
Oranges
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
It ran out of juice.