Restaurants
A sign in the window of a restaurant: 'Eat now - Pay waiter.'
Fish
I used to have a fish as a pet. Poor little thing was deaf, so I bought it a herring aid.
Umbrellas
What is most useful when it is used up?
An umbrella.
Burgers
Diner: Excuse me, but will my burger be long?
Waiter: No, sir. It'll be round.
Elephants
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It doesn't; you get down from a duck.
Moon
What do you call tiny bugs that live on the moon?
Luna ticks!
Frogs
What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
Hoppalong Cassidy.
Cash
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Horses
What has two heads, six legs, and a tail?
A man on a horse.