Trees
What is white, light, and sugary and swings from trees?
A meringue-utan.
Farmers
Old farmers don't die; they simply go to seed.
Idiots
Did you hear about the idiot who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on him.
Dresses
Customer: Would you please let me try on the dressĀ in the window?
Clerk: No, ma'am. You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.
Husbands
I wouldn't say my husband is thin, but he looks like a thermometer when he wears a red necktie.
Food
What is the best day to have bacon and eggs for breakfast?
Fry-day.
Pigs
Why did the pig have ink all over his face?
Because it came out of the pen.
Weather
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether.
Bulls
What do you call a bull when it is sleeping?
A bulldozer.