Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first."
"Fantastic," Mary replied. "I'll come with you."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Deer
How do you call a deer with no eyes.
No idea.
Blondes
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
Cars
This car is protected by Smith and Wesson
Policeman
Policeman: 'When I saw you coming round that
bend I thought, "Forty-five at least".'
Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'
Christmas
What do male sheep sing at Christmas?
Ewele-tide Carols!
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, this coffee tastes like tea.'
'oh, I'm sorry, sir. I must have brought you cocoa by mistake.'
Lawyers
What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
Favorite
What is a mummy’s favorite kind of sandwich?
A wrap!
Boss
We call our boss caterpillar.
He got where he is by crawling.