Joke Topic - 'Breed'

What do you call a man who claps his hands at Christmas time?
Santapplause.

My wife divorced me on religious grounds.
She worships money and I don't have any.

What do you call a rock group with Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Handel, and Chopin?
The Decomposers.

What kind of pets like to lay around the house all day?
Car-pets!

What do you call a snake that becomes a Canadian law officer?
Mountie Python.

Did you hear about the smuggler that saw a ghost?
It was the ghostguard.

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?
Iceberg.

When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs.

When I asked my girlfriend if I could see her home she handed me a picture of it.