Software
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Songs
I keep trying to write a song about drinking, but I just can't get past the first few bars.
Cookies
Why did the cookie visit a doctor?
Because he felt crummy.
Skunks
What does a skunk do when it gets angry?
It raises a stink!
Cricket
What do you get if you cross an American pioneer with an English batting game?
Davy Cricket.
Cars
This is not an abandoned vehicle
Roosters
What do you get if you cross a rooster with a duck?
An animal that wakes you up at the quack of dawn.
Women
Husband: You must admit that men have much better judgment than women.
Wife: You're right. You married me, and I married you.
Clothes
Her clothes are so loud that they should have a volume control.