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Joke Topic - 'Breakfast'

Here are 8 jokes on the topic - 'Breakfast'.


A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran towards the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes. The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!"

If a farmer has two eggs for breakfast every morning, but he doesn't own any chickens and he doesn't get them from anyone else, where do the eggs come from?
From his ducks.

Two guys go into a small diner for breakfast, the waitress comes up and asks for their order. "I'll have two eggs over easy, toast, and juice." the first man says. "And I'll have two eggs scrambled, toast, and juice in a clean glass" says the other. The waitress comes some time later and asks "...now who gets the clean glass?"

What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered host.

What do cows like to read at the breakfast table?
The daily moospaper!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

What do you call a story that your mother tells you at breakfast every day?
A cereal!

What does a cat like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.

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