Magicians
What do you call a lady magician?
Trixie.
Overweight
You know you're overweight and need to diet when your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
Bees
What did one bee say to the other bee on a hot summer day?
Swarm today, isn't it?
Santa Claus
Why did Santa get a parking ticket?
He parked in a snow parking zone.
Policemen
Where do policemen live?
999 Letsbe Avenue.
Peanuts
What is red and likes to eat peanuts?
An embarrassed elephant.
Blondes
What prompted the blonde to scale the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
Data
Who is Great Britain's data compression hero?
Jack the Zipper
Scottish
What if you cross a legendary Scottish monster and a bad egg?
The Loch Ness pongster.