Drunks
'I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.'
Cricket
Patient: Doctor, you must help me; I've gone crazy about cricket.
Doctor: How's that?
Patient: Not out!
Cows
Which American state has the most cows?
Moosouri.
Rome
Which famous comedian invaded Rome?
Attila the Fun.
Dentists
When I talk, people listen with their mouths open.
Oh, you must be a dentist.
Santa Claus
Why is Santa looking for a new job?
Because he got the sack.
Potatoes
What do you get if you cross a tomato with a potato?
A potato with bloodshot eyes.
Pizza
Did you hear the joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Chickens
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
An egg.