Dogs
Dogs and small children must be carried on the escalator
- if you don't have a dog, a cat will do
Good Luck
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with 4 leaf clovers?
A rash of good luck!
Boyfriends
Mary: My boyfriend has a wonderful personality.
Jane: My boyfriend is not good-looking either.
Car Drivers
A careful driver is one who has just spotted a speed camera.
Politicians
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it and three to deny it has been changed.
Fishing
Do you like fly fishing?
No, I prefer to catch fish.
Horses
Did you hear about the horse that has made over twenty movies?
He's not a star, though; he just does bit parts.
Fishing
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working
Students
A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.