Joke Topic - 'Borrow'

Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Borrow'.

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.

Do you know the difference between a set of bagpipes and a lawnmower?
If someone borrows your lawnmower, you always ask for it back!

Don't marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.

Every time I let John borrow a book, he keeps it. He's a professional bookkeeper.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Millicent.
Millicent who?
Millicent me over to borrow money from you.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her or something like that.

Waiter, waiter, just what is this fly doing in my soup?
The breaststroke, sir.

When a man was reading the newspaper, his wife asked, 'Will you still love me when I'm old and grey?'
'Sure I do,' he mumbled.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jerry!
Jerry who?
Jerry funny, you know perfectly well who it is!

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

Which vegetable goes best with jacket potatoes?
Button mushrooms.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Penny!
Penny Who?
Penny For your thoughts!

Did you hear what happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
No, what?
He was repossessed.

What do you get if you cross a palm tree with a frog?
A croakanut.