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Joke Topic - 'Blondes'


Here are 93 jokes on the topic - 'Blondes'.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
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Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?
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Q: What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?
A: A Golden Retriever.
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Q: What does a blonde make for dinner?
A: Reservations.
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Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alpabetical order.
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A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 22!"
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot six!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "MANDY!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks - "What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?"
"Ohhhh, that!" replies the airhead,"I was just running through that song - 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger". He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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A blonde is outside when the garbage man comes up the drive way and asks her if "any garbage today?"
The blonde answers "We'll have three bags please."
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A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
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A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

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