Joke Topic - 'Blackmail'

Passer-by: What are you digging for?
Workman: Money.
Passer-by: And when do you expect to get it?
Workman: Pay-day.

Why was the centipede dropped from the soccer team?
It took him too long to put his boots on.

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?
A really long hairbrush.

Job Applicant: Have you got an opening for me?
Boss: Yes, and don't slam it on the way out.

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a knight of the round table?
A bite in shining armour.

What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie one you like.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you very much.

What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.