Doctors
When are doctors just like comedians?
When they have you in stitches.
Dogs
Please help me find my lost dog. Here is his description:
One eye
Three legs
Ears chewed off
Broken tail
Answers to the name 'Lucky'
Shopping
Customer: Isn't there a smarter assistant available to serve me?
Sales Assistant: No, madam, the smarter assistants saw you coming.
Cannibals
Did you hear about the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
They say that he went down really well.
Steaks
Diner: Waiter, your thumb is on my steak. Remove it right now!
Waiter: What, and drop it again?
Ghosts
Where does a ghost like to go swimming?
In Lake Eerie.
Counting
You can always count on your fingers
Scottish
What is the name of a Scottish cloakroom attendant?
Willie Angus McCoatup.
Father Christmas
What do the elves fear most about Christmas?
They're afraid that Father Christmas will give them the sack.