A kindly old lady saw a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked.
'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I got a bicycle and a playstation and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards.' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard.
'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'So why are you crying?'
'Because I'm lost!'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Christmas
What do sad Christmas trees do?
They pine a lot.
Giraffes
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a dog?
An animal that likes to chase low flying aeroplanes.
Chickens
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a duck?
A chicken that lays down.
Cannibals
Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
A meal will cost you an arm and a leg.
Wedding
Did you hear about the two satellite dishes that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!
Perfect
You must must think I'm the perfect idiot.
No, you're not perfect.
Lawyers
Lawyer Says His Client Is Not That Guilty
Lightning
What did a bolt of lightning say to another one?
You really are shocking!
Hired
Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.