Joke Topic - 'Billiards'

Where does Dr. Jekyll go for a vacation?
To his summer Hyde-away.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs.
Doctor: I know we had to cut off your arms.

Did you hear about the Scotsman who washed his kilt?
He couldn't do a fling with it.

'I call my pet Tiny,' said Peter.
'Why do you call him Tiny?' asked one of his friends.
'Because he's my newt.'

Did you hear about the vampire that swallowed a sheep?
He said he felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

Why is your cat so small?
He only drinks condensed milk.

Did you hear about the man who gave up his job as a fishmonger?
He said it was making him shelfish.

Jess: I haven't slept for days and I'm still not tired!
Wess: That's incredible! How do you do it?
Jess: I sleep nights!

What did the thief say when he robbed the glue factory?
This is a stickup!