Joke Topic - 'Billiards'

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Goblin.
Goblin who?
Goblin down your food will give you a tummy ache.

My wife divorced me on religious grounds.
She worships money and I don't have any.

What do you get if you cross a famous English detective with a skeleton?
Sherlock Bones.

Teacher: I wish you’d pay a little attention to what I'm saying!
Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can!

Which insects are the most loyal?
Ticks. Once they find a friend, they stick to them.

Newlywed Wife: I baked two kinds of biscuits today, dear. Would you like to take your pick?
Husband: No, thanks. I'll just use a hammer.

My brother went to the doctor and said, 'Some days, I get the strange feeling that I'm a golf club.'
The doctor said, 'Can I join?'

Joe: My pig has lost his voice.
Jake: Really. I bet he is upset?
Joe: Oh yeah, he's disgruntled!

What is the most read thing at Christmas?
Rudolph's nose.