Chickens
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a duck?
A chicken that lays down.
Girlfriends
Fred: My girlfriend loves nature.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.
Mother-in-law
I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap.
Chefs
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Donuts
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open until Christmas.
Waiters
Waiter: And what will you have to follow your main course, sir?
Diner: Most likely indigestion.
Birds
Does your pet bird ever wonder why you're sitting there, staring at the carpeting, when you're reading the newspaper?
Data
Who is France's data compression hero?
Joan of ARC...
Old
When I get old, will the calves on my legs be cows?