Joke Topic - 'Best Behavior'

Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver.

How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it.

When librarians go fishing what do they use for bait?
Bookworms!

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

Did you hear about the man who gave up his job as a fishmonger?
He said it was making him shelfish.

My wife is a magician. She can turn anything into an argument.

Doctor, Doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why is that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.

Doctor, doctor, I keep stealing things.
Have you taken anything for it?