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Joke Topic - 'Beer'
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
A man and tall brown bear wearing a hat go into a bar.
Man: I'll have a pint of beer, and the bear'll have a large Matabooboo.
Bartender: What's a Matabooboo?
Bear: Nuttin' Yogi.
Man: I'll have a pint of beer, and the bear'll have a large Matabooboo.
Bartender: What's a Matabooboo?
Bear: Nuttin' Yogi.
A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him.
He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer"?
The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"!
He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer"?
The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of beer?
He came to a bitter end.
He came to a bitter end.
Everyone has to believe in something
I believe I'll have another beer.
I believe I'll have another beer.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys TWO cases of beer.
He buys TWO cases of beer.
Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work in the brewery.
Q: How is a blonde like a beer bottle?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.
A: They are both empty from the neck up.
Signs You're Getting Old
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You're the one calling the police because the kids next door won't turn down their stereo.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You're the one calling the police because the kids next door won't turn down their stereo.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.