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Joke Topic - 'Beer' - 16 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 16 jokes on the topic - 'Beer'.
A man and tall brown bear wearing a hat go into a bar.
Man: I'll have a pint of beer, and the bear'll have a large Matabooboo.
Bartender: What's a Matabooboo?
Bear: Nuttin' Yogi.
Man: I'll have a pint of beer, and the bear'll have a large Matabooboo.
Bartender: What's a Matabooboo?
Bear: Nuttin' Yogi.
After a hard day's work, a man stopped at his favorite watering hole to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer, and looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him.
He leaned over to the guy and asked, 'Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your peculiar habit. I'm curious: why do you always glance into your shirt pocket before taking a sip of your shot and beer?'
The man responded, 'Inside is a photo of my wife. Whenever she starts looking good, I know it's time to head home!
He leaned over to the guy and asked, 'Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your peculiar habit. I'm curious: why do you always glance into your shirt pocket before taking a sip of your shot and beer?'
The man responded, 'Inside is a photo of my wife. Whenever she starts looking good, I know it's time to head home!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of beer?
He came to a bitter end.
He came to a bitter end.
Everyone has to believe in something
I believe I'll have another beer.
I believe I'll have another beer.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys TWO cases of beer.
He buys TWO cases of beer.
How is a blonde like a beer bottle?
They are both empty from the neck up.
They are both empty from the neck up.
How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two - one to say 'She'll be right mate' and one to fetch the beers.
Two - one to say 'She'll be right mate' and one to fetch the beers.
Signs You're Getting Old
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
In the elevator, your favorite music comes on.
When the kids next door refuse to turn down their stereo, you're the one who calls the police.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie are the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5 bottle of wine isn't considered 'pretty good stuff.'
You eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
'I'm never going to drink so much again,' is replaced by 'I just can't drink the way I used to.'
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
In the elevator, your favorite music comes on.
When the kids next door refuse to turn down their stereo, you're the one who calls the police.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie are the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5 bottle of wine isn't considered 'pretty good stuff.'
You eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
'I'm never going to drink so much again,' is replaced by 'I just can't drink the way I used to.'
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
The idea behind marriage is that when a man finds the perfect brand of beer, he should quit his job right away and go work in a brewery.
There are twenty-four hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Is that a coincidence?
Waiter, Waiter.
I'd like a glass of beer and a piece of fish.
Fillet?
Yes - right to the top.
I'd like a glass of beer and a piece of fish.
Fillet?
Yes - right to the top.