A bear went into a bar and ordered a beer. He gave the bartender a twenty dollar bill and the bartender went to the other end of the bar to put the money in the cash register. The second bartender whispered to the first, "He's a bear, what does he know, shortchange him." The first bartender brings the bear $10 in change. A little while later the bartender starts talking to the bear and mentions, "We don't get many bears in this bar."
The bear replies, "I'm not surprised, at $10 a beer I sure won't be back again....
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Mummy
Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up!
Vampires
Did you hear about the vampire's new dog?
It's a bloodhound!
Chickens
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a duck?
A bird that lays down.
Cavemen
One caveman said to the other, 'What's that big thing with the long neck writing Jane Eyre?'
The other one said, 'That's Bronte-saurus.'
A Bakery
Why did the lazy man apply for a job in a bakery?
So he could just loaf around all day.
Dating
Did you hear about the dating agency for chickens that went bankrupt last week?
They couldn't make hens meet.
Pets
What kind of pets like to lay around the house all day?
Car-pets!
Onion
Janet: I call my new boyfriend onion.
Jane: Why?
Janet: Sometimes he makes me want to cry.
Blondes
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."