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Joke Topic - 'Bears'
Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'Bears'.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" asked baby bear.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" asked mother bear.
"Burp" said father bear.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" asked mother bear.
"Burp" said father bear.
A bear went into a bar and ordered a beer. He gave the bartender a twenty dollar bill and the bartender went to the other end of the bar to put the money in the cash register. The second bartender whispered to the first, "He's a bear, what does he know, shortchange him." The first bartender brings the bear $10 in change. A little while later the bartender starts talking to the bear and mentions, "We don't get many bears in this bar."
The bear replies, "I'm not surprised, at $10 a beer I sure won't be back again....
The bear replies, "I'm not surprised, at $10 a beer I sure won't be back again....
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
What do you get if you cross a small bear with a dog?
Winnie the Poodle.
Winnie the Poodle.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Dogs
A man went into a pet shop and asked the assistant if they had any dogs going cheap?
He replied, "Sorry sir all ours go woof."
He replied, "Sorry sir all ours go woof."
Price
The price of duck feathers has just been increased.
This means that now even down is up.
This means that now even down is up.
Possessed
"You have reached 555-5678, DIAL-A-DEMON. At the sound of the tone you will be possessed."
Mother
Rose: My mother wants me married so badly.
Maria: Why do you say that?
Cindy: Every time I bring a guy home she measures him for a tuxedo.
Maria: Why do you say that?
Cindy: Every time I bring a guy home she measures him for a tuxedo.
Politicians
Politics is the art of making it sound as if Father Christmas comes earlier in the year.
Wife
The kindest thing I can say about my wife
is that her in-laws are a lot nicer than mine.
Parties
What do you call a party held in a basement?
A cellar-bration.
A cellar-bration.
Zebra
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.
Tarzan stripes forever.
Chicken
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
A cuckoo cluck.
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