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Joke Topic - 'Bartenders' - 4 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
A bear went into a bar and ordered a beer. He gave the bartender a twenty-dollar bill, and the bartender went to the other end of the bar to put the money in the cash register. The second bartender whispered to the first, 'He's a bear; what does he know? Shortchange him.' The first bartender brings the bear $10 in change. A little while later, the bartender starts talking to the bear and mentions, 'We don't get many bears in this bar.'
The bear replies, 'I'm not surprised; at $10 a beer, I sure won't be back again.
The bear replies, 'I'm not surprised; at $10 a beer, I sure won't be back again.
A duck walks into a bar.
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no...
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!!
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: If you ask that one more time, I'm going to nail your bill to the counter.
Duck: got any nails?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no...
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!!
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: If you ask that one more time, I'm going to nail your bill to the counter.
Duck: got any nails?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
A horse enters a bar, sits down, and the bartender asks, 'Why the long face?'
Then a second horse walks in with jumper cables attached to its head. He sits down, and the bartender says, 'I don't mind the long face, but don't you go and try to start anything!'
Then a second horse walks in with jumper cables attached to its head. He sits down, and the bartender says, 'I don't mind the long face, but don't you go and try to start anything!'
This big, brawny, dark-skinned Latin guy walks into a bar. On his shoulder is a beautiful blue-and-red parrot. The bartender says, admiringly, 'That's beautiful. Where'd you get it?'
and the parrot says, 'Down in Mexico, there are millions of 'em!'
and the parrot says, 'Down in Mexico, there are millions of 'em!'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Breakfast
What do you call a story your mother tells you at breakfast every day?
A cereal!
A cereal!
Working
When I first started working, I used to dream of the day when I might be earning the salary I'm starving on now.
Cows
Why do dairy cows never have any money?
Because the farmer milks them dry.
Because the farmer milks them dry.
Change A Lightbulb
How many British Rail staff does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One is to change the bulb, and one is to apologize for the delay.
Two. One is to change the bulb, and one is to apologize for the delay.
Bees
What goes 'zzub, zzub'?
A bee flying backward.
A bee flying backward.
Burglars
Why did the burglar break into a music shop?
He wanted to get his hands on the lute.
He wanted to get his hands on the lute.
Bankrupt
Ted: I hear that your duck farm is going bankrupt.
Fred: That's right. I have too many bills.
Fred: That's right. I have too many bills.
Puppies
Is dogma a puppy mommy?
Birds
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.