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Joke Topic - 'Bartenders' - 4 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
A bear went into a bar and ordered a beer. He gave the bartender a twenty-dollar bill, and the bartender went to the other end of the bar to put the money in the cash register. The second bartender whispered to the first, 'He's a bear; what does he know? Shortchange him.' The first bartender brings the bear $10 in change. A little while later, the bartender starts talking to the bear and mentions, 'We don't get many bears in this bar.'
The bear replies, 'I'm not surprised; at $10 a beer, I sure won't be back again.
5>The bear replies, 'I'm not surprised; at $10 a beer, I sure won't be back again.
A duck walks into a bar.
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no...
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!!
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: If you ask that one more time, I'm going to nail your bill to the counter.
Duck: got any nails?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
3>Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no...
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!!
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: If you ask that one more time, I'm going to nail your bill to the counter.
Duck: got any nails?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
A horse enters a bar, sits down, and the bartender asks, 'Why the long face?'
Then a second horse walks in with jumper cables attached to its head. He sits down, and the bartender says, 'I don't mind the long face, but don't you go and try to start anything!'
3>Then a second horse walks in with jumper cables attached to its head. He sits down, and the bartender says, 'I don't mind the long face, but don't you go and try to start anything!'
This big, brawny, dark-skinned Latin guy walks into a bar. On his shoulder is a beautiful blue-and-red parrot. The bartender says, admiringly, 'That's beautiful. Where'd you get it?'
and the parrot says, 'Down in Mexico, there are millions of 'em!'
3>and the parrot says, 'Down in Mexico, there are millions of 'em!'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Pianos
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a piano.
Doctor: Wait while I make some notes.
2>Doctor: Wait while I make some notes.
Blondes
How did the blonde manage to break her leg while raking leaves?
She fell from the tree.
2>She fell from the tree.
Rabbits
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
A hip hopper.
2>A hip hopper.
Cowards
What is chunky, white, and cowardly?
Chicken salad.
2>Chicken salad.
Birds
How is a bird sitting on a fence like a coin?
Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.
2>Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.
Blondes
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
2>They think someone is taking their picture.
Lawyers
Why did the cucumber hire a lawyer?
Because it was in a pickle.
2>Because it was in a pickle.
Dracula
What is Count Dracula's favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
2>Fangs-giving.
Lightbulbs
How many software programmers are required to change a lightbulb?
Two. Someone always leaves in the middle of a project.
2>Two. Someone always leaves in the middle of a project.