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Joke Topic - 'Bartender'

Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Bartender'.

Related Topics: Bartenders (2) Bars (20) Barman (5) Beer (14) Drunks (17) Drunk (6)

A duck walks into bar,
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no...
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!!
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: If you ask that one more time I'm going to nail your bill to the counter.
Duck: got any nails?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?

A horse walks into a bar, he sits down and the bartender asks him, "Why the long face?"
Then a second horse walks in with jumper cables attached to it's head, he sits down, and the bartender says, "I don't mind the long face, but don't u go and try to start anything!"

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were having a rest in their hotel room when suddenly a tree walked in.
"Elm entry, my Dear Watson," said Holmes.

Hot Weather

Bill: Does this hot weather disagree with your mother?
Fred: It wouldn't dare!

Bulls

What do you call a bull when it is sleeping?
A bulldozer.

The London Marathon

Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the London Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, and the other in burst shorts.

Girlfriends

Fred: My girlfriend spends hours in front of the mirror admiring her beauty. Do you think that's vanity?
George: No, it's just imagination.

Patient

Patient: Doctor, I'm feeling really nervous! This is the first I've had an operation.
Doctor: I know just how you feel. You're my first patient!

Witches

Did you hear what happened to the little witch when she misbehaved at school?
She was ex-spelled.

Dogs

What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?
A shaggy dogs tale.

Dracula

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour.

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