Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - B / Joke Topic - Bars - 1
Joke Topic - 'Bars' - 23 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 23 jokes on the topic - 'Bars'.
A cheese sandwich goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
2>The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
A guy runs into a bar and asks the bartender for 24 shots of his finest whiskey. When the bartender has poured the shots, the guy drinks them down as fast as possible. The bartender says, 'Wow, I've never seen anyone drink that fast before.' The guy says, 'You would too if you had what I had.' The bartender says, 'What is it you have?' And the guy says, ' 25 cents,' and runs out of the bar.
3>A man and a giraffe walked into a bar. The man asked for a drink and one for the giraffe. They drank it and had another one, then another and another. The man got up and went to walk out; the giraffe tried to follow and fell over. The barman said don't leave that lying round here, and the man said, it's not a lion; it's a giraffe.
3>A man and tall brown bear wearing a hat go into a bar.
Man: I'll have a pint of beer, and the bear'll have a large Matabooboo.
Bartender: What's a Matabooboo?
Bear: Nuttin' Yogi.
2>Man: I'll have a pint of beer, and the bear'll have a large Matabooboo.
Bartender: What's a Matabooboo?
Bear: Nuttin' Yogi.
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments, 'You look really sad. What's the problem?'
'My mother died in June,' he said, 'and left me $10,000.'
'Gee, that's tough,' he replied.
'Then in July,' the friend continued, 'My father died, leaving me $50,000.'
'Wow. Two parents were gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed.'
'And last month, my aunt died and left me $15,000.'
'Three close family members lost in just three months? How sad.'
'Then this month,' continued the friend, 'nothing!'
4>'My mother died in June,' he said, 'and left me $10,000.'
'Gee, that's tough,' he replied.
'Then in July,' the friend continued, 'My father died, leaving me $50,000.'
'Wow. Two parents were gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed.'
'And last month, my aunt died and left me $15,000.'
'Three close family members lost in just three months? How sad.'
'Then this month,' continued the friend, 'nothing!'
A man is standing drinking at the bar when the man next to him whispers, 'Do you want to buy any pirate DVDs?'
'No thanks, I hate Treasure Island.'
2>'No thanks, I hate Treasure Island.'
A man staggers out of a bar totally hammered and is greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.
'You, sir, are drunk!'
'And you, ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I shall be sober!'
3>'You, sir, are drunk!'
'And you, ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I shall be sober!'
A man walks into a bar and asks the barman, "Was I in here last night?"
"You certainly were," replies the barman.
"And did I spend a lot of money?"
"You spent over 100 Dollars", replies the barman.
"Thank god for that," says the man, "I thought I'd wasted it."
3>"You certainly were," replies the barman.
"And did I spend a lot of money?"
"You spent over 100 Dollars", replies the barman.
"Thank god for that," says the man, "I thought I'd wasted it."
A man walks into a bar! Ouch!!!
1>A pie walks into a bar and asks the owner if he can have a pint of beer and a packet of crisps. The bar owner replies and says, sorry, we don't serve food.
2>A woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. The local drunk saw this and asked, 'Say there, whatcha doin' with that pig?' 'That's not a pig, stupid!' she said coldly.' That's a duck.' 'I know,' replied the drunk. 'I was talking to the duck.'
3>Did you hear about the Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman who went into a bar? First, the Englishman stood a round of drinks, then the Irishman stood a round of drinks, and finally the Scotsman just stood around.
3>