A barber nicked a customer rather badly while giving him a shave. Hoping to make amends, the barber asked, "Do you want your head wrapped in a towel?"
"No thanks," replied the customer. I'll carry it home under my arm!"
Johnny wanted to look suave for the local dance so he slipped into the local barber shop. "I want a Tony Curtis haircut."
So Taffy started trimming around the back with the clippers. Then he
started going higher and higher with them till Johnny started to get a
bit worried. But like most barbers, this one had verbal diarrhea, and
was yapping non stop about movies and movie stars. "Yeah, I like Tony Curtis too." as he trimmed up and over Johnny's
ears. "Wasn't he great in 'The King and I'?"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Cows
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
The milkmaid had cold hands.
Brain
If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Hot Weather
Bill: Does this hot weather disagree with your mother?
Fred: It wouldn't dare!
Fleas
How do fleas go on vacation?
They itchhike.
School
Teacher to Pupil: What do you get if you divide 2365 by 37?
Pupil: The wrong answer, I expect, Miss.
Scottish
A herd of highland cows are standing in a field in Scotland.
Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
Dogs
Where did the dog leave his car when he went shopping?
In a barking lot.
Lawyers
Q: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers?
A: No.
Reply: Good!
Cars
My brother said, 'One of my mates got run over by a car.',br>
I said, 'Really, how did he feel?'
My brother said, 'Tyred.'